Well, Charlie, today is a very special day.
- It's your first birthday! - ( cheering )
The whole family's excited to celebrate.
Happy Birthday, sweetie.
- I love you, baby girl. - You're the best.
I'm just here for the cake.
Well, four out of the five Duncans are excited.
Okay, who wants to give Charlie
- Her first present? - Oh, I do, I do!
I think p.J. Wants to go first.
Okay, you know how you said she needed something to sleep in?
Well...
Get it? P.J.'s pjs.
- Pretty cool, huh, dad? - Yeah, they're great.
I'm glad you like them-- because there was a two-for-one deal...
Happy early birthday, dad.
Boy, those are gonna be tough to regift.
- Your turn, Gabe. - It's in the brown bag on the table.
Oooh, nice presentation.
"die, zombies, die"?
Hey, you're never too young to learn how to kill zombies.
- Okay, I'm next. - All right, let's see what we have here.
So pretty.
- ( babbles ) - Oh, baby.
Teddy, that is so sweet.
Well, it's no "die, zombies, die."
Hey, that's the picture we took the day Charlie was born.
- What a crazy day, huh? - It didn't start out that way.
I remember how excited I was to be carrying my little bundle of joy.
Oh, I can't wait to get this thing out of here!
You heard her-- get out.
She's talking about the baby. Right, mom?
Whoa, what is that smell?
I'm pregnant. I have gas. Deal with it.
No, not that. It's worse.
No, actually that smell is coming from your lunch.
Dad made his famous egg salad for your fishing trip today.
Egg salad? Even the fish hate the smell of that.
And they smell like fish.
Hey, p.J., you ready to go have some fun?
Yeah, but I have to go fishing with you.
Oh, hey, dad, can you drop me off at school?
Ivy and I are doing our children's theater thing today
- And we need to get into costumes. - Sure.
Oh, and, Gabe, if you're not doing anything you can come see it.
I wrote it, you know? It's a delightful fable
About people from different worlds
Who overcome their differences and become friends.
Wow...
You actually made the fishing trip sound fun.
( rock music playing )
♪ today's all burnt toast ♪
♪ running late, and dad says ♪
♪ has anybody seen my left shoe? ♪
♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪
♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪
♪ there it is up on the roof ♪
♪ I've been there, I've survived ♪
♪ so just take my advice ♪
♪ hang in there, baby, things are crazy ♪
♪ but I know your future's bright ♪
♪ hang in there, baby ♪
♪ there's no maybe ♪
♪ everything turns out all right ♪
♪ your life is up and down ♪
♪ but trust me, it comes back around ♪
♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪
♪ hang in there, baby. ♪
Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
A little more.
And one for good luck.
Oh oh!
Really? Can't you at least wait until I finish my waffle?
Okay, we'll do it your way.
( groans )
Bob, honey, it's time. The baby's coming.
What?! You're not due for another three weeks.
I'm in the middle of the lake.
Would you please just calm down?
I've done this three times already. I can do it a fourth.
And just so we're clear, there will not be a fifth.
PJ, we've got to get to the hospital.
- No no no, you can't stand up in the canoe. - Why not?
- Becau-- - ( splashes )
Hi, um, this is Amy Duncan.
I'm calling for Dr. Singh.
Yes, could you please let him know that I have gone into labor?
And to meet me at the hospital?
Okay, thank you very much. Bye-bye.
Okay, we're gonna do this barefoot.
Let's go have a baby.
Mom!
Hello?
Is anyone home?
Then no one can tell me not to do this.
Mmm!
Mmm.
Okay, I tipped over the boat.
How many times can I say I'm sorry?
We've got a 45-mile drive to the hospital, I guess we'll find out.
- ( growls ) - Whoa! Whoa.
- Is that a bear? - In the truck? How'd he get in there?
I don't know, son. Why don't you ask him?
- How do we get him out? - We don't.
He's the bear. He makes the decisions.
Dad, you're an exterminator. You should deal with this.
I will-- when he loses 600 lbs and fits in a mousetrap.
How are we gonna get to the hospital?
Start walking. Come on, let's go.
Oh, man! He ate all the egg salad sandwiches.
Oh, yes! I love that bear.
( clears throat )
Oh, good, Halloween's come early this year.
Who are you two supposed to be?
I'm Frankenstein and she's Gretel. It's for a play I wrote.
I don't get it.
Neither did the audience.
What are you talking about? No, the kids loved it.
Are you out of your flat head?
It was a disaster.
- Then why were they cheering? - Because we had to leave early.
We're here to see Amy Duncan.
Right in there.
When Hansel and Dracula get here I'll send them in.
( moans )
- Hey, mom. - Hi, Frankenstein.
Hi-- ( groans )
I had the same reaction when I saw this wig.
Contraction. ( exhales )
- Are you okay? - Super, great.
Couldn't be better. All my ducks are in a row
And everything's under control.
So where's Gabe?
I guess I left one of my ducks at home.
Wait, Gabe's home alone?
Oh, that is not good.
Gabe, you okay?
I'm awesome!
Hey, check it out.
Hey hey, anybody here?
- Dad, what are you doing? - P.J. , we've got to get to the hospital.
I'm just gonna see if I can hotwire one of these things.
- Uh, dad! - You trying to steal our bikes?
Not steal-- hotwire.
No, look look look, before you do something you might regret,
There is a perfectly good explanation.
And I'd love to hear it...
Right after I gut you like a fish.
You want your big knife or your really big knife?
Surprise me.
Boy, Charlie's really loving her birthday cake.
I know. Isn't it adorable?
When she does it it's adorable. When I do it it's wrong.
And that's because we were at a restaurant and it wasn't your cake.
Come on, let's get back to the story.
Did the bikers gut you like a fish?
- You were there. - Oh, right.
All right, anyway, bikers were coming on strong,
I had to come back stronger.
Please don't hurt us. Please don't hurt us.
Give us one good reason why we shouldn't.
Because it would hurt.
Look look look, you don't understand.
My wife is having a baby and there's a bear in our truck.
That's why I'm trying to borrow the bike.
I can't-- I can't miss the birth of my child.
( sniffs )
That's beautiful.
We gotta help these people get to the hospital.
He hasn't been the same since he took up needlepoint.
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for helping us out.
By the way, I'm Bob. This is my son p.J.
- We're mad dog and Francis. - Good to meet you, mad dog.
I'm Francis. She's mad dog.
My real name's Shirley. If you call me that...
You'll gut him like a fish?
You catch on real fast.
( groaning )
Mrs. D., can you keep it down a little bit?
I'm trying to win concert tickets.
Where is he? I'm starting to get worried.
Okay, mom, relax. I'm sure dad's going to be here soon.
Dad?! Who cares about dad?
I'm talking about Dr. Singh.
He's delivered all my children.
And, lady, I am not having this baby without him.
Frankenstein, can I talk to you a minute?
Yep.
- Dr. Singh's not here. - Not yet?
Not at all. He's taking a personal day. It's his son's birthday.
So you mean he's not gonna be here.
Look, I know you have someone else's brain inside your head,
So I'm gonna tell it to you slowly.
Singh not coming.
( exhales )
- Is everything okay? - Everything's great.
Just one tiny glitch.
- Dr. Singh's not coming. - Oh.
All right, fine.
- So you're okay with this? - Of course.
Serious, mom, that's awesome, because I thought--
- What are you doing? - Going home.
We'll just do this tomorrow when Dr. Singh can be here.
I don't think that's how it works, Mrs. D.
Oh, come on, the baby's been in here nine months,
It can wait another day. Ivy honey, be a dear and jam that shoe onto my foot.
Um, mom, please get back in bed.
I am not gonna have this baby without Dr. Singh.
Okay okay, then we'll go get him.
- You will? - We will.
Oh, that's so nice.
All right, let's roll, Gretel.
Oh good, more people get to see me.
( rock music playing )
Yeehaw!
- New record! - ( doorbell rings )
Gabe, it's Mrs. Dabney. Open up.
( music stops )
I'm not supposed to open the door to strangers.
I wish we were strangers. Let me in.
What is going on in here?
Just the best day of my life.
Party's over. Your sister called and asked me to bring you to the hospital.
No way.
I'm not going just to see some stupid baby
Who I don't even want anyway.
I see what's going on. Have a seat.
I'm gonna tell you a story.
When I was four, I got a baby sister.
Hated that girl from the first minute I laid eyes on her.
I used to pull her hair
And call her names and tease her till she cried.
But we grew up and one thing led to another
And after all these years I still can't stand her.
How is that supposed to make me feel better?
I didn't say it was going to make you feel better.
I said I was going to tell you a story.
Now take that helmet off and let's go.
- What did you do to your head? - Gave myself a haircut.
- You like it? - I want it documented
That that happened before I got here.
Wait wait wait wait, no, hey hey.
- All right, time out. - Dr. Singh?
Oh, it's about time. I--
Wait a minute. I ordered Batman.
Not Frankenstein and... Goldilocks?
Close enough.
No, we're not here for the party. You delivered me.
I think I would have remembered that.
I'm Teddy, Amy Duncan's daughter. She's about to give birth
- And needs you at the hospital. - I can't leave.
I have to stay here and enjoy my son's birthday.
Who threw that? Was it you, Tyler?
Or the other Tyler?
No no no no no.
No no no.
How about we make a deal, okay?
If you go to the hospital and take care of my mom,
Then we'll stay here and entertain the kids.
- And how are we gonna do that? - We'll do my play for them.
Oh, it's a delightful fable about people from different worlds
Who overcome their differences and become friends.
I give it two thumbs up. Good luck.
Hey, kids, who wants to see a play, huh?
That is a yes from Tyler.
Hey!
If Gretel gets hit with a football,
There's gonna be one less Tyler at this party.
This should be good.
We just drove 40 miles behind a truck
Loaded with live chickens on motorcycles.
The chickens weren't on motorcycles. We were.
- You must be the Duncans. - How'd you know that?
Wild guess. In there.
Oh, uh, thanks for dropping us off. We can handle it from here.
Oh, we can't leave now. We're emotionally invested.
And I need to grab a quick shower.
She's not kidding.
I can't believe you threw up in my car.
What did you expect?
For lunch I ate two cans of frosting.
We're looking for Amy Duncan.
We know the Duncans.
Good enough for me.
- I like your hair. - Thanks.
I like your scar.
Hello, is anyone home in this gingerbread house?
( moaning )
Frankenstein?
What are you doing in German Switzerland?
Me want friend.
But how can a big monster like you
Be friends with a sweet little peasant girl like me?
It's possible. If you believe
We can be friends, clap hands.
Clap hands!
Like this!
T, give it up.
What are you doing? Stick to the script.
Look at them. They're bored silly. Let's just stop.
No, we can't. Frankenstein hasn't found the courage to cry yet.
Sorry, Frankie, Gretel's taking over.
Hey, kids, who wants to play pin the tail on the Frankenstein?
All: Me me me!
That's a picture of our son hog.
His name's hog?
It was. He changed it to Kevin.
The boy's been a real disappointment.
- Is he like a criminal or something? - Worse.
Vice president of marketing.
- First baby? - That obvious, huh?
( chuckles ) hey, I've been there.
- You have? - Oh yeah.
- This is my third time sitting in these chairs. - Wow.
If you don't mind my asking,
- How old were you the first time? - Two.
- Has mom given birth yet? - Nope.
- Hey, Teddy. - What happened to your hair?
I'm conditioning.
You're Teddy?
You're exactly like Gabe described you.
Hey, kids, come on. There's somebody I want you to meet.
( whispers ) hi.
Come in, come in.
Say hello to your new baby sister, everybody.
Her name is Charlotte. Do you want to hold her, Teddy?
- Can I? - Of course.
She's beautiful.
Hi there.
Nice to meet you.
And I don't usually look like this.
I can't believe I have a baby sister.
Would you mind taking a picture?
Thank you.
- What's the baby's name? - Charlotte.
- Mama, can we call her Charlie? - Charlie!
- Oh, I love it. - ( laughs )
Quite a family you got there.
Good luck, Charlie.
- Sweetie, I just love this present. - Oh, thanks, mom.
But to be fair, p.J. And Gabe set the bar pretty low.
- What?! - Hey.
( doorbell rings )
Surprise.
Oh, mad dog, Francis,
Come on in.
What are you guys doing here?
We have a birthday present for our goddaughter.
- Whoo-hoo! - Ohhh.
A baby biker vest.
Let's try it on.
That's so cute. I love it.
- Did you ask them to be the godparents? - Of course not.
Then you have to tell them that they are not the godparents.
No thank you.
Fine, I'll do it.
Excuse me. There's something I have to tell you.
Oh, welcome to the family.
Guys, check it out.
- Ohhh! - Cutie.
- I know I heard something. - ( rattling )
I think it's coming from the kitchen.
Okay, you wait here.
Or I could hide upstairs.
( roars )
You're here for the egg salad, aren't you?
Okay, sit down.
You bring back my truck?
- Full tank of gas? - ( groans )
What, were you raised in a cave?
Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com